Friday, July 28, 2006

THE MALE DICHOTOMY

Men normally like to date "hot" women, but marry women they can take to their moms.
And then men claim "It's so difficult to understand women".

Why such a dichotomy?

The most obvious answer is that men will instinctively run after beautiful women. So that's the kind they will date. But when it comes to marriage, they prefer someone homely. Why? Because at this conjuncture, they will remember their mom and sisters, and if they have been very homely, men will like a woman similar to them.

Men understand that they themselves are narrow minded and insecure. Such a man might love seeing g-strings on attractive women, but he cant tolerate that on his wife. Since his childhood, the image of woman that is hardwired into his brain is of a 'sati-savitri' (Hindi for ideal home-maker husband doter). So the 'type' of woman who shows her g-strings to people is not acceptable for marriage, but is ok for fun.

Men are inherently insecure with 'hot' women. They fear that they would not be able to keep 'such' women satisfied, either emotionally or physically in the long run. Moreover, they expect 'such' women to have a high libido, and because they don't understand the unconcerned way in which they behave, they cant keep 'such' women happy. (See FEMALE SEXUAL OPPRESSION below)

The only way out is that men need to break out of their foolish shells that they live in. They need to better focus on the needs of their partners, whatever they may be.
So, the best way to settle down in a relationship is to get out of this dichotomy and marry the person who attracts you most and keep you satisfied for life. Else, any marriage not based on attraction (see below: LOVE) is bound to fail.

8 Comments:

At 3:34 PM, Blogger RW said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger RW said...

This dichotomy has infected man for generations. What is attractive about a woman before marriage suddenly turns undesirable after that.

This is what leads to conflicts and tensions in relationships and is actually self defeating.

Man no longer likes the same woman because either he expects her to behave differently or two because the reason he liked her in the first place disappears if she takes on a new homely avataar.


http://equity.blogspot.com

 
At 12:07 AM, Blogger Piyush said...

You have given two points, and both of them are very nicely thought out and put forward.

But am sad that i cant make out who you are coz ur profile is not visible, though i know that u are within 500m of me.

 
At 5:12 AM, Blogger Adi Oso-Groot Finch said...

Is this God?

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger Adi Oso-Groot Finch said...

ur query says u aint piyush dalmia... so who r u? anyone from 42nd or later?

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger Saket said...

Quite insightful thinking, however 'bound to fail' is rather strongly worded. There's also an assumption that you won't be attracted to homely girl, which may not always be true.

wastedmonkeys.com

 
At 3:10 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

VERY RIGHTY SAID, ITS ONLY AN ATTRACTION WHICH KEEPS 2 PPL CLOSE.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Harisha said...

A topic worth a thought and an Article well written..

However I have my take on this..

Man's eternal desire to Date a hot woman has more to do with man's instinct to get her to bed than anything else. Hot is more to do with body than mind. Body is more to do with sex than love. So it has no long term planning. It’s 'just do it Now' thing that drives man crazy after hot woman.

Come Marriage or long term relationship, it’s a different ball game. For Marriage is an institution built for 3 main reasons.

1. Companionship
2. Structure for child care
3. Physical gratification

Though the ‘honeymoon period’ and few months (some time years) of marriage has more to do with last priority. However the first 2 takes precedence as the time passes by and will only grow with passing year. Marriage is always with a long term in view. If Dating is short selling than Marriage is Long term investment.

With such different priorities its understandable why Man prefers a hot woman to date and homely lady for marriage..

Is it right or wrong? .. well, who knows?

 

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