THINK LIKE YOUR BELOVED

When you are in a relation, check out things from the other person's perspective first. That’s more important. You can check your side anytime.

A very easy way is to understand the other person’s actions/ reactions well. If he/ she is angry at you, instead of trying where to put the blame, try to understand why the other person is behaving in this way. And very soon you will understand that most fights/ misunderstandings happen because of mismatch of expectations. You expect something and your beloved expects something else. You take him for granted, and he takes you for granted, and very soon differences crop up.

Its better you talk, and thrash out even the last expectation that you have from each other. If you think the expectation is worthless, then drop it. If you think its not, then either fulfill it, or express your inability to fulfill it, so that it may be kept aside. You are feeling hurt over something he said. Why not try to probe his mind over why he said so? You want to go to a party, and you expect that she will come along. Are you sure? Are you really sure? Or are you just assuming? Why don’t you just ask?

But don’t be too sure that asking will give you the right answer. Its better you watch her/ his reactions every time. He may be doing it just to please u. Do you think talking is enough to have a good emotional relation? Life would have been so easy that way. It is not, you have to go a little further.

He keeps advising you not to do something, and you get mad every time. It’s good to have a good logical discussion. But why not go deeper and address the real expectation and concern, which you will understand only when you start stepping into the shoes of the person, start thinking like him. It’s very deep seated its part of your fundamentals like family, culture, environment etc. So it takes time and effort to sink in, but doing so is possible.

Try to wear the shoes of your beloved, and ask them to wear yours. Check how he/ she sees life, you, everybody, everything. Before doing something think how she will feel about this action. And very soon, it will become part of your daily habits. But still beware; never take him/ her for granted. You may not be able to understand them perfectly, or they may change with time. Allow that, it’s normal. But be prepared for it.

Try thinking like she does, and then as soon as you see an argument brewing, without discussion, you will know how to come onto a common set of understanding, and understand each others expectations. And this will not lead to a mutual discussion; it will lead to mutual admiration!

Just see things as he/ she sees, then you will immediately find the apple of discord- mismatch of expectations. Harmonize your stated and unstated expectations, and the two of you will be blessed for life.

PS: Just think, if you can do this for your beloved, why not try doing it also for a friend/ family member, and see another relation being transformed !